Push
by insane4lyfe
Summary: A random CartmanKenny one shot I came up with. It's slightly emo and set to Push by Marianas Trench :


**A/N:** I came up with this randomly after looking over the lyrics to my surrently favourite song. ...I personally dont mind this too much. -shrug- but that's just me. This is CartmanKenny for some reason. -shrugs again-

**Disclaimer: **I do not own south park (its owned by trey and matt) or push (its owned by marianas trench) :(

* * *

**Push**

_You never really wanted it  
_

I had almost forced you into this relationship per say… I said I loved you and you felt the need to stay with me. I smile softly to myself. You were never one to disappoint.

_You'll settle for a bit of it_

You did want to date me though. You couldn't deny that fact. The opportunity presented itself and you took it with open arms. …You don't love me though. You never can.

_  
We started with a big bang_

_(Coming over everything)_

Everyone knew about us. We were the school's big 'it' couple. We were so happy… but eventually it started to fade.

_  
And now it's coming back again_

We started to force our happiness. The spotlight on us was still there so we couldn't let them know that happiness could be lost. We were their source of inspiration. We were who they looked up to.

You can see it too can't you? The way we feel obligated to each other even though you can't stand commitment.

_  
My shiny side down_

I never was the greatest person in the world. Truth be told, I'm a major ass to everyone.

_  
Hey, burning brighter still_

The spotlight's starting to get to me now… it's too bright.

_  
And you're getting sick_

You're sick of the attention too. I can tell.

_  
And you're feeling it_

Maybe I don't love you as much as I used to.

Everything we go through is so tiresome. …The mask I've created is starting to slip.

_  
You chase it, breathing in and out and in and out_

Even so, we don't stop. We keep moving forward and it's getting harder and harder.

_  
They'll push you up against the wall, against the wall_

I "made love" to you for the first time 3 weeks ago. That's what everyone else called it anyways. There was no love involved though.

_  
You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong about it_

You didn't think it would feel good considering the methods we had to use. You were wrong. The pleasure was immense… of course I'd never admit that to anyone, let alone, _you_.

_  
Push_

All it took was that, and we were able to go on like everything was okay again. It was our safeguard against the outside world.

The first time I hit you, you used the excuse you whacked your head by not watching where you were going. It worked because you never were the most graceful. It was quite the opposite actually. No one thought otherwise.

_  
I started faking it_

I pretended nothing was wrong and we were still in our little dream world. I knew otherwise, but I didn't want to disappoint the people who thought that way.

_  
And then we started breaking it_

We had our first public fight. Needless to say, everyone was surprised. We were supposed to be perfect.

_  
All the pieces used to fit_

We used to know everything about this. It's now a routine that we broke. We're nothing anymore except convincing actors in a story about a tragedy…

_  
Using like it's going out of style  
Maybe just a little while_

We're only using each other now. Maybe in a little while we'll be free… but I doubt it.

_  
And this will be the last time_

I said this would be the last time I hurt you.

_  
Every time's the last time_

I say that every time I do it.

I keep feeding you lies. You probably know I do all the time now.

_  
My shiny side down_

I never did listen to the good side of me. It's almost been snuffed out entirely by now.

_  
Hey, burning brighter still_

They turned up the spotlight ever since that time we fought. I don't think they'll look away anytime soon.

_  
And you're getting stuck_

We can't escape from this grave we dug ourselves in.

_  
And you fucked it up_

I always tell you it's your fault we're like this. It _is_ all your fault anyways.

I never wanted to live like this.

_  
You chase it, breathing in and out and in and out_

The fame is too great to pass up… but the price is almost too much to pay for fifteen simple minutes…

_  
They'll push you up against the wall, against the wall _

I beat you once. Actually _beat_ you for something stupid. It was for almost setting the kitchen on fire while you cooked for me. It was nice of you… but you didn't need to try to burn my fucking house down!

_  
You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong about it _

_  
_You thought after everything you've gone through… you though it wouldn't hurt as much as it did. You never were very bright.

_  
Push_

But we'll still try to persevere… because it's all we can do.

I shouldn't have hit you.

_  
I regret a lot of things_

I shouldn't have done a lot of things I've done.

_  
I regretted it_

I wish I could take it back… but I'll never say that.

_  
I regret a lot of things_

I wish I could take it all back… but I never would. Even if I got the chance I don't think I would.

The pain wears you down. I can see it.

_  
You chase it, breathing in and out and in and out  
(I regret a lot of things)_

You do all you can to keep from sinking in too deep, lest you drown in it all.

_  
They'll push you up against the wall, against the wall  
(I regretted it)_

I wish I could stop myself, but I can't.

_  
You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong  
(I regret a lot of things)  
about it  
_

It still hurts you, I can tell. You've just learned to hide it.

_  
(I regret a lot of things)  
They'll push you up against the wall, against the wall  
(I regretted it)_

I swear I would change this if I could. …but part of me won't let things change from how they are now.

_  
You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong  
(I regret a lot of things)_

I heard you crying softly in the bathroom one night. I wish I hadn't heard that.

I had almost thought you weren't human because of how you take it… until that night.

_  
It'll wear you down and wear you down_

You still break down every once in a while. This tears you up inside, I know.

_  
You chase it, breathing in and out and in and out_

You keep running towards the salvation sign, and all you can think to do is _breathe_.

_  
They'll push you up against the wall, against the wall_

It still hurts.

_  
You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong about it_

You still feel it.

And all we can think about in order to continue is that we haven't drowned yet.

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Review? They are like cookies. And _everyone _likes cookies. 


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